Can you hear her?
We have been sent this incredibly moving real life story from someone now living abroad, this piece contains a story line that some readers may find upsetting, Travellers’ Times understands this woman is in touch with her family who are trying to provide support and uses creative writing as a way to express her feelings....
Hello are you there can you hear her,.
He tells her that she doesn't exist, she's stupid, fat, she's an alcoholic, she has dementia she is losing her memory.
She is not entitled to anything, food, money anything that is his she cannot share his life. He told her that if they moved to this country they would have a better life, she said she must be stupid because she believed him; her family are not here they are not close by, they can't hear her now. Her family are kind and caring but he said they are weak like her, they don't matter.
His family came to stay, she did meet them briefly many years ago. They shared his wonderful life in his lovely house and sat in his beautiful garden. He took them out sightseeing and to restaurants every day, when they were at the house he provided them with breakfast and buffet lunches, not for her though she wasn't included.
She was allowed to prepare the evening meals for them, she could sit and eat then but no wine or conversation for her, he doesn't speak to her because she doesn't exist; his family spoke to her she enjoyed their company, did they hear her?
Her family used to come and stay but he didn't like them being in his house, he ignored them, they had to buy their own food just like her, they are her family.
He does all the shopping, food for him and cleaning products for her, he says she has OCD and other mental problems. He tells them that she can't speak their language so she prefers to stay at home and clean the house or keep the garden neat and tidy. She does like to do housework and gardening but not every day!
They say she's so lucky to have him, he manages everything for her and he's so friendly and helpful. He has a special name for females but they don't hear him say that, she does.
She does get brave sometimes and answers him back, he will punish her for that. It's ok he hasn't punched her to the ground and kicked her for a while now, he's cunning, he knows what to do so that no-one can hear her. He's whistling; he does that when he's happy, it's a warning sign, he has decided what he is going to do to her. She is anxious and scared of him she won't relax until she knows what he is going to do. She said it's strange that the waiting can be worse than the punishment. She locks her bedroom door at night, he can wait she's not going anywhere.
They were selling the house but he said he won't do that now, he's happy with his life and wouldn't change a thing, oh maybe just one thing, he wishes that she would die. He doesn't want her to have any money from the sale of the house, she might escape and go back to her family, she might be happy, she could tell them, they will hear her. He said that isn't going to happen, she is trapped, she just wants to go home not die here.
I have heard and seen a lot, l have seen her cry, she is tired but I can hear her.
I can't see her any more, I am old and I am ill but I can feel her next to me when I am resting, I can feel her sadness but she won't leave me. He knows she loves me more than anything.
She knows that I will have to leave her and it makes her sad but she will stay with me until then. I am her companion.
Do you know him? Can you hear her?
Her companion x
If this story has effected you there lots of different organisations out there that can help you.
The National Domestic Violence Helpline is a freephone 24 hour helpline which provides advice and support to women and can refer them to emergency accommodation.
The National Domestic Violence Helpline is run in partnership between Refuge and Women's Aid.
There are translation facilities if your first language is not English. The Helpline also offers BT Type talk for callers with hearing difficulties. The Helpline worker contacts the Type talk operator so that the caller can communicate through them.
Telephone: 0808 200 0247 (24 hours)
Email: helpline@womensaid.org.uk (you will receive a response within 3 working days)
Website: www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk
Refuge helpline offers advice and support to women experiencing domestic violence. Telephone: 0808 200 0247 (24 hours)
Refuge also provide safe, emergency accommodation through a network of refuges throughout the UK, including culturally-specific services for women from minority ethnic communities and cultures.
Their website also includes some information for men who are either being abused or who are abusers.
Email: info@refuge.org.uk
Website: www.refuge.org.uk
The Women's Aid website provides a wide range of resources to help women and young people.
They also run a website to support to children and teenagers who may be living in a home affected by domestic violence, or who may be in a violent relationship themselves.
Telephone: 0808 200 0247 (24 hours)
Email: helpline@womensaid.org.uk
Website: www.womensaid.org.uk
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